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What does it mean to be a certified life coach?

Well, you typically drop several thousand dollars to get educated, a certificate, lots of books, many videos, and hours of time chatting/sharing coaching thoughts with other friendly people called coaches.

Far too many of the coaches I know are far too young or have too few life experience to really offer guidance or navigational aids. Personally, I like someone who has made many mistakes, side steps, errors, reversals, and goofy decisions to provide me with true insight on living.

I love creativity. My coaching and writing focus on ingenuity. I’ve had a bit of luck being ingenius now and then, but most of all, I’ve been surrounded by many ingenious people who taught me a great deal on creativity, innovation, and exercising brilliance.  

Pushing seven decades of breathing should do that for a man or woman.

So, when Elon Musk comes into my office for our future coaching session, I like to think not only my age but the mileage I’ve put on my mind counts for something.

“Elon,” I begin, “I’m truly honored we’re together.”

The mastermind smiles and nods. I ask him to squelch his smartphone. He reluctantly complies.

“Elon, your imagination and influence have already made a vast and dramatic impact on humanity. But are you finding the personal fulfillment and satisfaction you seek as, perhaps, the most innovative man on the planet?”

The power-player squirms a bit on the leather sofa. His eyes speak volumes.

“The space thing is changing how we do extraterrestrial science in the future and every celebrity but Mathew McConaughey is driving a Tesla.”  I lean forward. “It’s good to be a Musk.”

Elon nods, a bit nervously.

“So, your satisfaction quotient should be off the charts. Rarefied air. Stratospheric, right?”

His eyes drop to his lap, where his clasped hands wring.

“Feeling a bit disrupted?”  He nods in the affirmative.

“Elon, we all have observed your life and have to ask.” I hesitate for a second. “Are you spending enough time with your kids?  Giving the little Musks more than the GNP of Austria?”

No response.

“Many of us were a bit taken aback when you drop kicked your first wife to the curb for a dazzling super model trophy wife, but, hey, you’ve got needs.”  I pause for drama. “The lavish life, the dazzling toys, the globe-trotting wonderfulness of having it all.  Do you feel like you have an authentic core happiness?”

Elon Musk fiddles with his car keys and ignores my question.

“Elon.  Are you happy?”

“Being the King of Innovation in the 21st Century is great and all,” offers the King of Innovation. “But my head and heart fear for what’s new tomorrow if I lack contentment with today.”

I ponder his revelation. Rockets, electric cars, transformational dreams of solar living. But does he love his goldfish? Has he played some kickball with his kiddies?

“Elon, your imagination is magic and you have enough ‘fuck you’ money to build a 30′ wall around the entirety of Mexico.” Our eyes finally meet. “What is the one thing you want more than anything?  Your Rosebud sled?”

His eyes drop once more to his car keys.

“I want to fall asleep and dream of pastoral fields and of a gentle, cleansing rain instead of technology, tactics, and transformation.”

I smile.  “Ah,” I say with a bit of warmth and affection in my tone, “the perfect start for our next session…”

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